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February 27, 2005

Customer Lifetime Value

I have been a pretty happy customer of Verizon Wireless for the better part of seven years. I set up my phone with them when I returned from Texas in January of '98, and, with a brief hiatus in 2001, have kept my service with them ever since. I've been pleased with the coverage, the people, and their Web site (check your minutes, bill pay, and so on).

And, right now, I'm ready to drop-kick them into the deepest, darkest pit of Hell I can find.

Back in October of 2003, I signed a one-year contract. At the time, I was offered a credit against a new cellular phone. Since I was happy with my current phone, I told them that I'd like to keep the credit, but not take advantage of it just yet. I was assured that that was fine, and I could simply use my credit during the term of the contract if I saw a phone I liked.

September 2004 rolls around, and my contract is up again. I talk with the customer service people, and sign for another year. Part of the new contract, again, is the right to get a discount on my nearly-three-year-old model. Again, I'm not ready to upgrade, because I'm in the middle of Direct Marketing Craziness, but I tell the agent that I will likely upgrade this year, and I already have a credit, so it would be great if I could not lose my existing credit and instead accumulate this second credit to go along with it. I was assured this was no problem. The deal was signed.

So Mary recently changed her Cingular service, and they sent her a new, cool little phone - for free - as part of the package. Well, having this new, cute, cool little phone around the house got me to feeling all tech-jealous, and I started shopping for a new phone for myself.

Shopping for a cell phone is a bitch. There's a billion little moving parts in the transaction - call quality, size, battery life, carrier compatibility, technical specification, camera, ringtone capability, yadda yadda. For me, the big issues came down to:

• Compatibility with Verizon's network (remember, I'm happy with them at this point);
• Small form factor;
• Long battery life;
• Other happy users;
• iSync compatibility.

After several hours of Web research, I find that the Motorola V265 is pretty killer. The Verizon site lists the thing as $99.95 with a two-year activation (no problem, I think, because I've got two accumulated years of activation credits), and it also has a $50 rebate attached to it. I can get the phone for $49.95, plus tax.

Wicked.

So I head down to the Verizon store downtown this morning and check out the phone. It's perfect. Sturdy, light. A nice replacement for my V60i.

A nice woman comes out to ask me if I need anything. I tell her I'm interested in the phone, and explain the deal with my accumulated phone credits. She stares. I explain a little more. She stares more. Finally, she asks me for my mobile number and pulls up my file on the computer. After blinking at the screen for a few minutes, she basically tells me that she can't help me. If I want to get the phone, I have to sign another two year contract.

I argue a bit with her about this - I have a contract (she can see that on her screen), re-upped in September (check), re-upped before that in 2003 (check), and my phone hasn't been re-upped since 2002 (check).

"You qualify for an upgrade," she says.

And she then proceeds to try to sell me the phone with a new two year contract. When I'm (understandably) miffed about being asked to do something that I've already done (and, indeed, have done with the understanding that the phone credit was "attached to my account" or whatever), she suggests I call customer service.

Which I do when I get home.

Customer service is staffed by a very, very, very nice woman named Mercedes. Mercedes has clearly been trained to be soothing, funny where appropriate, and in control. She thanks me for calling her, thanks me for being a good customer, thanks me for paying on time, thanks me for waiting, and, ultimately, can't help me.

So she gets me on the phone with her supervisor, James (x. 2101), who is the anti-Mercedes. In our first fifteen seconds together, he manages to convey that he is the rock upon which my will is going to break. He is happy to give me a discount on a phone - as long as I sign another contract. Period.

(James also manages to imply that I'm trying to scam Verizon and that I can't read a contract. Delightful fellow.)

I explain to James (politely, and using small words) that a) I already have a contract with his company, and ) one of the conditions of my signing that contract (as well as the one that preceded it) was that I get a credit on a new phone at some point in the future. Since he doesn't feel like honoring this contract, I don't feel super-compelled to reward this bad behavior by giving them more of my money for a 24-month period of time.

So now I have to kick this up to the next level, I guess, and write a scathing letter to Verizon's customer service department (ala my United Airlines experience), and hope that someone with a copy of Excel and an ability to do a CLV calculation will see the wisdom in keeping their word to a longstanding customer.

In the meantime, my contract is up in September.

Posted by Gavin Shearer at February 27, 2005 6:45 PM. Posted to Misc.

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