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December 17, 2007

"oPtion$: The Secret Life Of Steve Jobs"

I'm a regular reader of The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs (if you like snarky tech, it's a must-read), and recently finished the book by FSJ, called, "oPtion$: The Secret Life Of Steve Jobs". Bill had snagged a copy when it first came out, and just raved about it, so I placed a hold through SPL.

Now I know why Bill loved it so much: it's laugh-out-loud funny. Really, really great.

First, the basics: "oPtion$" isn't some kind of tell-all book about Real Steve Jobs or Apple. Instead, it's all about Silicon Valley, unchecked egos, and narcissism. In fact, FSJ is sort of a geek Paris Hilton - he's famous, yes, but mostly famous for being famous, and woefully free of any actual talent.

The book's got zingers a-plenty, mostly run through the lens of people doing things that annoy Steve:

Suddenly the air feels really, really cold, and it's so quiet that I can hear the air conditioning whirring in the walls, and I'm thinking to myself, Holy friggin mother of Jesus, I am so going to kill the a-holes who did the HVAC work in this place. Because I specifically told them I want this place silent. Not quiet. Silent. Like a friggin tomb, I told them. Yet there's this whirring in the walls as if we're up in a jet at thirty thousand feet. How am I supposed to concentrate? This is how I'm supposed to work? I can't even hear myself think.

Or consider this great example of how FSJ and Larry Eillison spend their weekends:

Rat Patrol is what Larry calls it when we drive his Hummer up to the city and cruise the Tenderloin in the middle of the night, wearing balaclavas and commando outfits and firing Super Soakers at transvestite hookers. You get points for how many you hit, with bonuses for letting them get as close as possible to the Hummer before you leap through the roof and open fire. We've done it a few times and I'll admit, it's pretty fun, especially when the trannies get all pissed off and start shouting and swearing. Larry aims for the face, and tries to blow their wigs off.

We learned this game from Arnold. He and Charlie Sheen invented it in Los Angeles with a couple of other guys. They call it Commando.

The book's plot revolves around Apple's stock-options scandal from earlier this year; Jobs is tortured by an incompetent board, rebellious iPhone engineers, and a Zune-toting, Windows-loving prosecutor who thinks Steve is a poseur.

It's fantastic.

FSJ, if you don't know, is really author Daniel Lyons from Fortune. Lyons did an appearance at Microsoft earlier this year (we regularly host speakers on campus), and the talk was videotaped ... it's damn funny (and not remotely safe for work - the guys swears a lot). Check it out (note: requires Windows and Internet Explorer).

The book's a definite recommend.

Posted by Gavin Shearer at December 17, 2007 11:13 AM. Posted to Apple | Entertainment.

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